Day 99 : Dream

Dream

It has been a hectic week for me.. Stressing over things like my driving test, projects and presentations as well as the nearing examination dates which I am definitely not prepared for despite my constant procrastination in my revision. Things shall be better the next week as I look ahead and be confident in the things I do. Feel like going to ZoukOut this year, however I don't have any partner to go with. Hence, still deciding if I should go with people whom I've just met but never contacted. In fact, I don't even have her number, only way to get through is by another friend of mine whom I've just known in WISP. The internship company in Changi didn't call me and I heard that it was a competition between 3 AT students and 2 ME students. How lucky I wasn't there because I will probably the lowest GPA amongst them, afterall they are way more competitive as compared to the students in my course. Aaron stole my ESD 2 sample report and maybe, just maybe... some of the notes which I made for myself before the exams for MMM and Applied Thermo. Not sure about it, so I'm not directing it immediately to him. 

I dreamt of Yu Jun yesterday night.. This is what I believed to be the first time that I have her in my dreams. I can't remember clearly because the dream I had is now in bits and pieces like a puzzle of 300 different shapes and sizes which I can't piece them together. But I believe that we are in a resort, somewhat probably the Maldives trip which I wanted to go with her... Because our resort is right at the beach and the balcony has chairs and tables and even a small vase with rose in it, elegantly placed with curtains drawn to the side in our room. I only realised it was her when we had our kiss, on the lips. Yes, it felt real and I was shocked to see that it was her after the kiss as... I still have some feelings attached to her. We ate, joked, laugh and relaxed together in the room with red wine with the sea side breeze and you can literally hear the waves and birds. 

I searched what it meant after I woke up and it is said that I still bear some feelings for "that" person that I kissed on the lips and there is still a chance of reconcilation which I have thought before too, on the day of her birthday... Still a long wait though, not sure if there will still be a chance then. Lets hope everything goes fine though hahaha!!

Day 88 : Projects projects projects!

Projects projects projects!

As the projects come flowing into my to do list, I can't keep myself focused in class because I was busy worrying about what I can do to further improve the project as well as what can I impress others with my project apart from the basics that we learnt and many other average scorers can do. ESD2 project and WISP project are still torturing me these days. WISP, I'm pretty much done my part but I guess I have to help them too, after all I do know that only 2 of my 4 other team mates are the hardworking ones. Hence, no doubt we have to put in more effort than the other groups as we have to prepare a 20 minutes presentation to the class on LGBT which is a topic that can be hard to find on the internet. Anyway, last worrying and more thinking. Probably shall start my Saturday routine of going to the library if possible... Got NS check up this week, and driving test on the next... So, Probably only available on the Sunday to study, otherwise it will be a tight squeeze into my schedule to rush to the library just to check a seat in it and hopefully one where I will be able to concentrate all by myself. 

Saw you running past from behind me this afternoon where I was walking towards the MRT station at Yew Tee. Not sure if you saw me but you were looking into my class when you walk past with the girls and your class. Wanted to say hi, but I was suffocated by my own fear , hence decided to ignore your presence and pretending to continue talking to my classmates. The fear I have is unexplained, it's not like we just met and I can talk to strangers pretty well. I can't even get this figured out, why is my breathing so heavy but short.... 

Day 73 : Casual school term

Slack~

Losing my focus and my drive to become the best among all students from Mechanical Engineering. Driving lessons are soon coming to an end too. Cleared 4.04 and only left with an evaluation conducted by the instructors from school and I'll be up for TP and get my license like finally. Another milestone will be unlocked soon by the end of July this year. ESD 2 project seems to be the one that makes me grow more grey hairs and probably plucking a bunch of my once healthy hair off my head. So much trouble and calculations to do but have to personally carry 3 others in my team. Irritating as it can be, I have to suck it up and look ahead for the plans of how to outscore my other classmates in the lecture class as they have better scores than our class. Oh well, shall grab a drink one day when I meet some of the people whom I've met online.  

Seeing you smile cheek to cheek as you sit in Aaron's car and spend time with your new clique from the Vietnam trip... The whole process didn't change, just the players. So I can conclude I was never seen to be in future in the very first place.