...Graduation

....Graduation~

Thank you guys for being there when I'm down, drinking, kbbq, doing stupid stuff during these 3 years of my life. It has been a bumpy ride for all of us and I believe each and everyone of us has learnt lessons along the way to maturity HAHA! However, I think I'm still pretty much the same for being the craziest and nosiest among the bunch. It is my fortune to have all of you within my embrace because without any of you VIPs in my 36 months of poly life will be a disastrous and I would have broken down even further because of all the stress academically as well as my dumb one sided love life. Shoutout to Jia Xiang and Dillon, those 2 who are nearest to me in the 2nd picture, they're older than me by 2 years and they never fail to give me good advices on how to forget Yu Jun when times are tougher especially with the examinations around the corner that time. Also, they taught how times are much different now and we have to face the music of some girls are just using guys to get through their boredom as well as receiving nice gifts for their birthdays and so on.. We guys will understand after reading this post, we're really dumb to spend so much on someone who has always been playing with us. Till our next goal in life, stay safe and lets keep our friendship bonded stronger than UHU glue.

Day 375: Graduation day

Graduation day!

I don't know if this photo even meant anything since I'm the only one who posted this photo on instagram and tagged us on the picture... Though we were all smiling for the camera, I'm pretty sure we still have that awkward barrier that is worse than introverted strangers. We literally avoided all eye contact and existence on that day though I really wanted us to be like how Jovan and Christel are at the moment. Definitely, being friendzoned may be a worse decision to you than being totally zoned out and to forget me totally. Anyway, this graduation day shall be a happy one and I've learnt many things in poly like how people tend to change and only take advantage of people when they're in need of help or just to reduce boredom. Thank you guys.. and may fate bring us apart or together, we shall see. 

*but i got to say, you look beautiful on that day, I felt emotionally happy inside as though I'm looking at the girl of my dreams graduating.... 

Day 367 : Anniversary? :p

Anniversary?!

Congratulations!! It has been a year since I've reopened this blog, and things aren't as hasty as before. I started to loosen myself to approach new people and definitely new women who I encounter during work. The adventures that I seek are being categorized into my bucket list to do with that special someone in the future whom I will meet. I know it takes a very long time for me to update these blog posts and I believe that no one even bothers to keep up to them now. I'll just use it for my future reading and laughter when I'm bored or what I'm feeling down. Sharing these sorrowful stories online feels much better than sharing them with friends who gives the most ridiculous advice and ideas they can think of to make me forget about her.

I'm quite surprised to not even see her once since....I've started this blog? I didn't keep track after 200 over days, I just kept myself busy with school work, and tire myself out with the extra revision and so on. During my intern days are the worst, as I have less work to focus on, I have lots of time with the Wifi and there's Eunice in my office which no doubt brings thoughts of Yu Jun to me naturally. I'm so delusional and blinded by the thought that without you, I'm worthless, I'm pathetic and I can't prove to the world that I'm nothing more than that. However, now that I am without you, I am able to look things are a brighter light and be the optimistic me again. I didn't have to worry like I did before every time when your replies came in only an hour after my immediate replies. Also, it shows how much effort I have put in that you don't deserve because of how much I have sacrificed and willing to step out of my comfort zones to be that special one for you but all I get was undignified. Being ignored and left at your door being slam shut in front of me is your only way of rejection? Well, I believe you are capable of just taking 1 hour of your time to be clear about your feelings with me and we could have stay friends....or you felt like I was not needed anymore and being friends is just another burden that I may leech off from you. 

Opportunities are still on the way for all of us, if we are meant to meet once again, we will. Though situations and things will change because of how we are treated differently before. I hope things will turn out better for the both of us, however it may turn out...

Day 349: No NS letter yet?!?!

No NS letter yet?!?!

The batch of soldiers for October intake has already receive their letters for army but I have not receive any yet. Kinda worrying because it will be a waste of time and $$ because I won't have any concession to use as there is an expiry date on 16th of April which means i have to survive for months on that ridiculous adult transport fare... Graduation is in less than a month from now and kinda dreading the day if we happen to see one another on that day. It is going to be awkward staring at you from afar and I'm very sure that your secondary school friends will be there to congratulate on your graduation. That being said, I also hoped for more chances to hang out with you like we did before things went haywire. I definitely felt comfortable around you and being foolish just making you smile feels like an accomplishment to me instead of a chore. Every thing done with you are also smooth and according to the plan I assume it is going to turn out. But it is never the same if we have to look at one another with a one sided love on my part... I think I still think about you every now and then because of how people revolving around us can be quite similar in terms of personality or looks. However, you're someone who made me fall in love twice as hard.

Day 322 : 1st week of Buddy Hoagies

Last break before enlistment

I finally got myself into a part time job, though it isn't the job scope or being a retail assistant that I wish to try out for, I got into a F&B restaurant that is operates in bukit timah shopping center which is 3 bus stops away from Ngee Ann Polytechnic. The pay rate they give is pretty shit for a whole lot of customers to handle with. With $7/hr, I have to face regulars that have a high possible chance that are boss' friends which they come everyday to have their lunch with their colleagues and family. I doubt I will have my hair dyed to any color before graduation since it will be a waste of money. Having to spend like 100+ to have those exotic colors is pretty pointless when I will be hairless when I have to go for enlistment. But oh well, I don't really fancy to waste anymore money on such things just to impress people since they don't really stay in this 21st century.

After months of no contact with you, there are times where I will still think bout you, however they aren't exactly the same way of how romantically the scenes were but how foolish I was to not see the signs of me being used and thrown away. I guess being the 3rd person to view everything is much clearer than where I previously view from. Seeing most people are enjoying their graduation trips and me having none..feels pathetic. LOL. I wish my class were more active and are less into earning those part time cash instead of having fun while we are young... oh well

Day 302 : The last semester break of Poly

The Last Semester Break

It feels like my whole life has reached its final destination. I'm lost with the numerous blurred path of future which no one has stepped upon. Deciding on a future is hard, choosing what course to go to for my degree is tougher. Having to predict which field of work will fit the best in the economy 5-6 years into the future is so frustrating and worrying. Every time I look out of my window, I see joggers around the neighbourhood, park connectors and along the pavement to almost anywhere. Are they running from " Reality " ? Running gives endorphins which so called numbs your pain and allows one to sleep better. What if people run only when they have many things to worry from, will there be more than what I'll expect to see in the park everyday? 

I thought of getting an job at an engineering firm but the contracts are mostly out for people who are willing to commit a minimum of 1 year which leaves me out to only the retail and F&B jobs which are of no relation to my successful future. What are the chances in life to climb the ladder and earn $10k a month at a young age of 30?

Have I really moved on after not seeing nor contacting her too? My answer will be I don't know. I can't stop thinking and worrying what is going to happen during graduation ceremony in May @Ngee Ann Poly... Will we meet face to face with our graduation gowns and stare awkwardly at each other with our rolled certificate and friends around us? OR am I just imagining too much because there will be too many people around for me to chance upon such a korean drama episode. 

Day 281 : What is internship?

What is Internship?!

All the tasks and responsibilities given during these 4 months of internship is ridiculously insulting to me because they can be done by any ground handlers and the results from these tasks are not beneficial to the department in any way. Tasks like counting of bags, recording the total time taken for all the bags to be inducted into the arrival belts. First bag till the last bag leaves the shutter door. God damn it! Can't you just ask any of the random bangala to do these work. Futhermore, at least give me some tools to go along with it instead of just using my phone as a timer and my brain as a counter. This is absolutely insulting to a soon-to-be-diploma-holder. 

So, Mr Halal keeps reading my blog post and I have to stop and not post the blog, it was supposed to be " Day 270 " but oh well, does it even matter when no one reads this blog anyway.. Haha!! Clearing all the leave today and only going back on Friday, just to give out some gifts for my colleagues and also to give back my airport pass. Unfortunately, having to go back to Changi for a presentation on 6th Feb for like 3 hours just to talk about my 15 minutes slides... Along with some Q&A by the bosses... I just hope they can just give me the stamp for the endorsement asap.. I will be super late for submission if my supervisor keeps dragging.