Anniversary?!
Congratulations!! It has been a year since I've reopened this blog, and things aren't as hasty as before. I started to loosen myself to approach new people and definitely new women who I encounter during work. The adventures that I seek are being categorized into my bucket list to do with that special someone in the future whom I will meet. I know it takes a very long time for me to update these blog posts and I believe that no one even bothers to keep up to them now. I'll just use it for my future reading and laughter when I'm bored or what I'm feeling down. Sharing these sorrowful stories online feels much better than sharing them with friends who gives the most ridiculous advice and ideas they can think of to make me forget about her.
I'm quite surprised to not even see her once since....I've started this blog? I didn't keep track after 200 over days, I just kept myself busy with school work, and tire myself out with the extra revision and so on. During my intern days are the worst, as I have less work to focus on, I have lots of time with the Wifi and there's Eunice in my office which no doubt brings thoughts of Yu Jun to me naturally. I'm so delusional and blinded by the thought that without you, I'm worthless, I'm pathetic and I can't prove to the world that I'm nothing more than that. However, now that I am without you, I am able to look things are a brighter light and be the optimistic me again. I didn't have to worry like I did before every time when your replies came in only an hour after my immediate replies. Also, it shows how much effort I have put in that you don't deserve because of how much I have sacrificed and willing to step out of my comfort zones to be that special one for you but all I get was undignified. Being ignored and left at your door being slam shut in front of me is your only way of rejection? Well, I believe you are capable of just taking 1 hour of your time to be clear about your feelings with me and we could have stay friends....or you felt like I was not needed anymore and being friends is just another burden that I may leech off from you.
Opportunities are still on the way for all of us, if we are meant to meet once again, we will. Though situations and things will change because of how we are treated differently before. I hope things will turn out better for the both of us, however it may turn out...
No comments:
Post a Comment