Day 189 : Intern Week 2 + life

Intern Week 2 

Finally, it is the end of Week 2 for internship! However, as days goes by, I will have more projects and things to do for the company unlike the first week where I'm just sitting around my office desk and munching on my snacks. Now I have to pretend to be busy, either walking around the whole of Changi Airport ( Yes, ALL 3 TERMINALS ) or going to site with my safety helmet and vest and take photos of what are suppose to be changed according to the specs stated in the contract made for the expansion of Terminal 1. Having Eunice, Ya Yun and Wei Jian in my office feels a little less boring though we are still segregated by an imaginary wall where there are other supervisors who will look if we are chit chatting or slacking off. Honestly, I'd rather be printing and do filings for the others than to be daydreaming in the cold and quiet office or lounge that I always go because there will be lesser eyes to look at us interns, being useless and just walking around aimlessly and having no knowledge in fixing nor operating any machine. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

Everything seems to be going well until yesterday when you took more than 24 hours to reply my snap. You look at your instagram, post a snap story, opened my snap story but not my private snap to you. I wonder why it happened though, I've only done it to people whom I don't wish to speak to ever again though, is that the same feeling you have for me? Am I being annoying just have my name pop out as a notification on your phone? Arghhh, we shall see until the end of November I guess... or until the end of 2016 if I can finally decide on what is my stand...

Day 170 : 2 Sighs

2 Sighs

What seems like a good idea before doesn't seem to go as what I've expected and planned for. Should I take a step back and consider running back to the split roads where I'm forced to choose between the two routes. Despite numerous attempts to get our conversation to be longer and also more interesting, your replies are always a force closure by replying only what I asked and using no more than three words like " Haha yea " , " Nope " and " So exp , LOL ". I'm really disturbed by this because the texts and topics I talked to you about can always be extended and whats more intriguing is that the 3 word replies can take you up NO LESS than 24 hours. I have to wait exactly and mostly more than a day for just a short reply which pretty much shows how much you want to speak to me. Just, bye will probably be a better reply instead. I really am infuriated by such replies, and I believe you knew it all along. So instead of beating around the bush, why can't you just talk to me on the phone or at least give me a proper sign that you don't want and don't need me to be around because I'm of no more use to you after not showering you with all the allowances I have. I would have probably gotten you the Chanel perfume you wanted but I assume I'm lucky for not gifting it too early since the few months of not being around you can make you change inside out. According to such statistic, we will never still be together when I'm serving my 2 years of National Service and you will probably be looking to spend time with another guy you meet in the University you study in. 

Why must you crush my wish and trust and yet feeling not a single bit of bitterness for forsaking our friendship(?). Have the time spent together meant nothing at all to you but just a shadow that accompanies you? *scratching my head* Should I continue trying to talk to you? I mean... what if its all just me and I'm just stubbornly standing, waiting for a day to come when you finally can have the eye contact like we used to have.

Day 164 : Reset to zero

ZERO

So... results of the wait is that she is finally willing to try again with what we had left from the torn bits and pieces of friendship that was disastrous. However, she reminded that she wants the idea of me chasing her to stop completely. Well, definitely it will because of the long break, I've already gotten over and move on to finding someone else instead of stepping into the same pit hole that I've plunged into twice... Once's an accident, second a mistake, third's a fool. So, I swore that I will not be what I was in the past as feelings are something that come and go. Falling in love with the same girl twice do make me worry a little that there will be a third. However, risks are meant to be taken if I want to keep her presence around me. 

Due to the long and quiet cold war that we had, awkward tension is there and we have ran out of topic in just a few sentences. I'm thinking I'll buy a movie ticket and give it along with her birthday card on 29th November and if she thinks that our friendship is worth treasuring, maybe just MAYBE she will come on the date that I will prepare for. She's never the push and pull kind of girl anyway, always having someone to do the plans and initiate the outings / dates. Shall hope that I will fully get rid the part of me that wants to linger around her despite the determination to terminate my affection for her. Unless, she gives me a different feelings from what she was before that I was in love with, I guess it will be another long run for me.