From morning until now (8pm), we literally have 5 times where Priscila and I reply each other... I feel like this distance is somewhat killing me but.. it may also be the distance you wanted all along.. Not so sure how long I can last for this. Saw you popping online in your whatsapp at 7:44pm when I sent a reply to you around 7:20+pm, but you didn't open them and definitely did not reply to my message as well. I guess I just have to endure it through? I mean it will probably feel worse the next time when you switch your last seen back on and I know that you aren't replying my messages.
How am I suppose to actually feel though, to be honest, I have no idea what should I do to actually move on from all these, afterall we have been so close to one another to the extent that we see each other every lunch, dinner and even for night walks from 10pm to midnights. Even during weekends, we zoom call one another to watch shows together and also text one another after we off-ed our zoom calls. But now, it is reduced to only 5 chats per day... Having to start off at 5 chats/day, I am assuming that there is also a possibility that the next time... during this period when you are having your intern, may end up being 5hrs interval for your replies.. Especially when you really start doing your audit work, I think you will have more of an excuse to not reply me at all until the end of work when it can be 530pm or even overtime and say to become 7-8pm. I am just praying that I will be able to endure through this 1 month such that I can somehow get over you, and move on so that we can really go back to being friends and know each other all over again at least...
I really am trying not to be hopeful in anything that we might have a possibility of getting back together because I am rather sure that we won't be, unfortunately.. Though I really wished that we could. I just feel that it is impossible to "forget" something. I even remember those small fights that I had with my friend in secondary school that does not even affect me at all, and that was like 10 years ago. Furthermore, I don't even contact him after secondary school, so I know that it really is impossible to forget any bad memories. Moreover, something that I have done to you.. like calling you a cheater and whatsoever. I guess, I really have to move on and just look forward. I have tried my best, and if my best is not enough, then no choice also ba...
I just hope to be able to at least get to know you all over again someday, when you allow me to ask you out for meals or movies whatever. My plan is probably to at least:
1. Study together
2. Breakfast together
3. Go on night walk to Giant together
4. Watch shows via Zoom together
5. Finally and most importantly, go out 1-1 together. It will probably be like a date. and that's when I feel that I will finally get a chance to even try to do something from then.
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