Nothing came back
On 29th November 2016, I wrote Yu Jun a birthday card which inside wishes her a very happy birthday as well as a confirmation to our friendship. Well, without a doubt just by looking this blog title, you will know her answer. Inside the card is a paragraph which I wrote " If we could still be like what we were in the past, going out together and so on, do write me back a reply so I will understand. Otherwise, let the birthday card be the last message I will ever send to you ". And YES, I wrote my postal code and house unit number at the bottom of the page along with my "fab" signature by the side. I waited patiently for the weekend to go by, however nothing came to my door, not even a single news from her. It has been a week since the day I've sent the card and I believe that puts a fulls stop to our friendship. Never did I expect that an expression of feelings for her will turn out to be so bad, or was it because I have nothing in hand that she needs and requires it from me anymore.
"When I first met you, you were nothing more than another face. But 6 months later and you are the only face I could ever find in a crowd." These 2 sentences really hit me in the gut, it exactly marks the duration of how long after I've known you before having that small infatuation for you. I still remember the days where we were still kids, year 1 Sem 2, back then I was still 17 years old and you're 18. I chose you and Bryan to join my team because you were the only girl left and I don't want an all guy team, honestly. But never did I expect that you were actually a cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl that actually made my heart skips a beat. Helping me to score an A grade for that IS module, INNOVA, really made me feel blessed to have you in my life. It was something remarkable or someone to give up their part of the presentation for their team mate. I fell in love with you when it was the C&I Week, where we are forced to build the car and to create a circuit by using duct tapes and making all the unneccessary aesthetics for the board to look nicer. Drawing trees and humans along the sides of the road... though we did not even submit the board to them, we still had some fun and laughter over the process of making it. I still remember when Mustaqim tease us to get together because we were always speaking in Chinese and neither Bryan nor Mus understands that language. Also, judging by our close skinship and sharing ear piece to watch The Walking Dead season that you wanted to watch. We slacked off a lot for the project and it became like a dating area for me. Where I arrive early in the morning, waiting for you to be there so I can make you smile. I love your little dimple, It really shows the beauty in you, especially with your out going personality, you smile a lot. I mean A LOT.
But it is all too late to say anything now, I guess our friendship isn't meant to last afterall. If you scroll through our Telegram text, last year I accidentally jinxed that we might have another war and may not be able to be friends before our graduation. Seems like things are going that way, where it is already Semester 2 now and we haven't made up. I tried and tried and tried, but I guess you just don't want to give me another chance, to even forgive myself. If this is the decision you've made, then let's not even greet the next time we see one another. I hope that everything is going well and bless you on your future endeavors.
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