Sunday, October 24, 2021

Day 5 : Was it too much impulse?

 Well, yesterday night didn't go too well as I thought it would.. I went on an impulse and climbed up to her room and gave her a hug.. Which she leaned back and pushed me away almost immediately.. I think there's a possibility of her already moved on from the relationship such that she has no longer any feelings left for me and that me hugging her was almost like an assault done by any stranger or drunkard. I have never felt so disappointed in a hug before, such that what was supposedly normal in the past, can turn out to be something so awkward and wrong. Should I have done none of those? I really want the fire to continue burning despite being away from her. I know that if I leave her as it is, feelings will definitely fade as the time spent together is already kept to a minimum such that we have little to no interaction with one another. She also didn't want to have lunch together, the reason was that she was tired and she wanted to take a nap (not sure how true that will be) but well, I can only accepted the fact that I may have fucked up yesterday.. I apologized to her though I also said that I will wait for her.. but i also know that she is busy with her school work and assignments that are bound to due within this week and the week after. I just hope that she is doing alright in class as well because she has to juggle with the number of projects while attending seminars which is bound to crash into one another. She does seem to not have sufficient sleep these days, every day she sleeps at like 2+am or later but wakes up earlier than me, even on weekends (before 9am). I am rather.. surprised that she can still work on so much project and presentations.. Not sure if she is really doing them or that she is actually talking to other guys during this whole period, which also explains the distance that is created between us to be much faster... I still missed her a whole lot...  Here is another picture of her for today :)


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