Day 24: Why is it so long

24 Days since the blog was reopened, felt like this has been going on forever, and also feel like very little hope is left to chase her back bah.. Tried to really shake her heart by my words as much as possible, but all she is doing now is just ignoring those texts and just replying to only those that she wants to. Sometimes I really don't know if what I am doing is going south for me instead. I feel like I am just not moving on with the plan of letting time do its job to prove my sincerity and all because I am a rather impatient person and also, I am one that fear that she will just move on entirely from any love that she has left for me and it will only make it much harder to chase someone back if they aren't giving me much chances. I believe that even after months, she probably may not be comfortable with going out 1 to 1 and all, much less if its watching a movie together or going out on "unintentional" dates. But well, all these are hard to plan if it has to almost be an impromptu decision because nowadays need to book the dates of visitation to specific places, otherwise it will be a problem too... But I guess, I can only try to hide my own feelings for the moment and try to move on slowly.. Feels like another phase similar to when I chased Yu Jun back then.. but this might be much worse because I have actually planned so deep into the future for us and actually thought that things will have gone well.. Wanted to propose to her when I am 28 actually.. 4 years from now.. but now its all back to 0 and no idea when will it reset as well.. Man, I'm rather old now hahaha.. Fk my life man.. feeling so lost at times like this, when she was always there for my emotional support.